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It's Okay To Say No

If you say “yes”, is it a lifelong contract?

The situation you’re in when you said “yes” may change.  The commitment may not turn out to be what was promised. Things may not be happening as expected.

The key is to check your “happiness meter”.  Are you enjoying yourself in the commitment? You may be working hard, even struggling, but you still find meaning in the commitment, something worthwhile for you. Then by all means, stay committed. But if the commitment has lost its meaning, give yourself permission to rethink the situation.

Don’t be a martyr, doing something only from a sense of duty, or worse, coercion.  There has to be something in it for you, something that helps you experience what’s most important to you. If the commitment is not reciprocal, then it just empties you…this a problem both for you, and for others.

Because if you are not giving your best to the commitment, everyone loses.

It’s okay to change your mind, to say no.

Saying no takes clarity and courage. You will pay a price for breaking a commitment. Loss of trust, of income, of opportunities. Is the eventual upside for you, and for the other party, greater than the price? How you handle disengaging from the commitment is important. Take care of any unfinished business, and make sure to minimize the price of your decision to the other party.

If you’re not finding fulfillment in the commitment, the other party is orobably not, either. Maybe a “no” is the best thing for your both.

The bottom line in life is that things change, people change. Life goes on.

It’s okay to say “no”.

For more information

Commitment and trust are linked. See my article “Some Thoughts About Trust”

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