Certain things have happened in the last few days which have led me to realize that I’m living the nasty side-effects of being constantly connected: a hypersensitivity to my thoughts and to my external environment. I have two emotions, either neutral/don’t care, or five-alarm fear. My internal drive to perform no matter what has me cutting so many corners with my self-care, that there is very little me left to give to others.
A shock that happened to me just this morning has convinced me that trying to overhaul my engines in mid-flight is just plain stupid. Therefore I’m landing this baby so I can make the proper repairs and recharge my fuel cells.
What this means in real terms is that my program offers for June/July/August are currently on hold. I have also withdrawn my participation in all external activities “for an indefinite time”, meaning I am making no commitments. Not making commitments is something that I’m committing to learn (tee hee)
My challenge during this time is to really unplug, literally and figuratively. No more Facebook, Twitter, blogging, e-mails, phone. To preserve what’s left of my sanity, I must get out of the mental mode and rediscover my physical self. Good thing that it is the perfect time of year here to do just that.
During the next few days I am wrapping up what needs to be wrapped up. My phone will go to voice-mail, my e-mail will accumulate. I may or may not respond.
Yes, it’s real scary stuff. I can fell the tingle of fear in every part of my being, my flight response is hyperactivated. If I don’t hit the SCRAM button now, a meltdown would be just around the corner.
On a positive note, I know that what is happening to me right now is doing so for a reason, that there is an important message that I can communicate to you when I return.
I’ll be back when I’ll be back.
Salut. Peace be with you.