I AM an entrepreneur.

Following a dream, pursuing an opportunity, taking charge of my own destiny.

Bringing something of value to society, making a job for myself and for others, and creating wealth that benefits my family, my community, my country, my world.

One of a movement of millions of entrepreneurs and innovators who made this country great, and who will keep our economy going…and growing.

What I am because many people have helped me along on this journey.

THEREFORE I WILL

Tell my story, sharing my successes and failures, so that others taking the entrepreneurial path can learn.

Strive to mentor an aspiring entrepreneur.

Make my voice heard by those who make policy decisions that affect me and my business.

Appreciate and celebrate my accomplishments and the accomplishments of my fellow entrepreneurs.

Give back to the society that helped me to be successful.

Build a Stronger America. [And a Stronger World.]

– From The Kauffman Foundation BuildAStrongerAmerica.com

For more information

The Kauffman Foundation is the world’s largest foundation devoted to promoting entrepreneurship as a powerful tool to develop individuals, communities and the country as a whole. I found it very inspiring to hear stories of how people of many different backgrounds share a common passion of being an entrepreneur. I’m partnering with Quebec International (our local economic development agency) to bring a Kauffman program here to Quebec City, with the goal to jump-start our local tech startups.

http://www.kauffman.org
Twitter: http://twitter.com/KauffmanFDN

What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think. This rule, equally arduous in actual and in intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know I. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Thinking Big” is easy. I come across people all the time who have big dreams. I meet far fewer who are actually making them happen.

The difference between talking and doing is Commitment. To me, Commitment is making what I say I want my first priority.

I’m the first to admit that I have a Big Project that I’m not committed to. Actually, several. I want to lose 20 pounds. I want to produce my first book. I want a life partner. These are all big things I want in my life, that I talk about, plan to do, someday.

It’s the distinction between urgent and important: Urgent is what gets other people”s projects moving forward. Important is what gets my projects moving forward. I have “lost” whole years focusing on the urgent while setting aside the important. These years have been productive, just not in ways that are as important to me now as they were important to others back then.

One’s results are a product of one’s priorities. If you find you’re talking a lot about something you want to get done, yet there is no progress happening on that front, then look at your commitment. Is what you’re talking about now creating the future you really want?

For more information

This post is part of a series inspired by The Domino Project’s #Trust30 Writing Challenge. Each day during the month of June 2011, we receive a thought from Ralph Waldo Emerson’s essay “Self-Reliance”, to use as a writing prompt. For more information about the #Trust30 Writing Challenge, see today’s prompt:
http://ralphwaldoemerson.me/laura-kimball

Related posts:

Will You Jump Or Wait To Be Pushed
http://blog.davender.com/2010/05/will-you-jump-or-wait-to-be-pushed/

Image credit: Ed Schipul (eschipul) on Flickr
Direct link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/eschipul/2371505523/
Used under Creative Commons 2.0 licence

To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, that is genius.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Eric Handler asks:  ”What is burning deep inside of you? If you could spread your personal message RIGHT NOW to 1 million people, what would you say?”

Simple. LISTEN UP!!!

Stop chasing “things” to feel fulfilled. Success is creating an experience of life that allows you to explore your full potential. Pursue your passion. Make a difference. Build a legacy. Turn your vision into a Big, Hairy, Audacious Life Project, and push it to the max.

The benchmark for me is Steve Jobs, who keeps on creating, imagining and executing his vision even though he knows each new day when he wakes up could be his last. He doesn’t need the money, he does it for a higher purpose.

For more information

This post is part of a series inspired by The Domino Project’s #Trust30 Writing Challenge. Each day during the month of June 2011, we receive a thought from Ralph Waldo Emerson’s essay “Self-Reliance”, to use as a writing prompt. For more information about the #Trust30 Writing Challenge, see today’s prompt:
http://ralphwaldoemerson.me/eric-handler

Before I read today’s prompt, I was reading an article -
“Foxconn CEO: I Wouldn’t Be Working As Hard As Steve Jobs If I Was As Ill As Him” (Business Insider)
http://www.businessinsider.com/foxconn-ceo-praises-steve-jobs-disses-warren-buffett-2011-6

Image credit: “the justified sinner” via Flickr
Direct link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/the_justified_sinner/3685583354/
Used under Creative Commons 2.0 licence

So another Judgment Day has come and gone and we’re still here. But why all the noise about someone predicting the end of the world?

Beyond the silliness of predicting the “end of the world”, this particular announcement seems to have touched something in the collective consciousness.

Our lives today are getting even more complicated. The illusion of stability has been shattered, and the rules of society and of our economy are being thrown out the window, with who knows what taking their place.

In the past, when something bad happened in the world, we might have read about it a few days later on page A25 of the local newspaper. But today we not only read or hear about it instantly, but also we see it, repeated again and again on the 24-hour news networks. And we talk about it in our social networks, whether online or off-line, amplifying the feelings of fear, uncertainty and doubt.

In addition, the volume of the vox populi is reaching a deafening pitch, as everyone contributes their opinion with the aim to be ever more provocative in order to win their fifteen seconds of fame.

No wonder we are tempted to look for a way out, for someone or something to comfort us, to protect us from disappointment and pain. Whether it is taking a small step such as buying a lottery ticket, or going for the Hail-Mary pass of chasing a long-shot big client, or dropping everything to follow someone’s pitch for a new business opportunity or partnership. Anything to relieve the crushing stress of being in the present moment, with its mountain of to-do tasks and constant reminders of disappointment.

The reality is, there is no one or nothing that will come to save us. We have to Do The Work of living our mission and our vision, pushing through the Resistance of Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt to create something magnificent.

For that is our lot in life, not to sit by and wait until someone whisks us off to the Great Upstairs, but rather to create Heaven On Earth, the actualization of our full potential.

The way to “save” yourself is to work on your Clarity – becoming crystal-clear on Who You Really Are, your mission and your vision – and your Commitment, defining a Life Project and putting that first and foremost. In this way, you can become bigger than your problems and move into action, which builds your Confidence and your Courage.

If you’re hoping someone or something will sweep in to save you, you will be disappointed because it only happens in Harlequin novels. Much as we may wish it to be, there is no shortcut to success, other than blood, sweat and tears. It is the effort that makes success worthwhile.

For more information

Wikipedia entry about Harold Camping and his failed prophecy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_Camping

“Do The Work” by Steven Pressfield: http://www.amazon.com/Do-the-Work-ebook/dp/B004PGO25O

Martin Rutte’s Heaven On Earth Project: http://www.projectheavenonearth.com/

Related articles on this blog:

A Daily Ten-Point Confidence Checkup
http://blog.davender.com/2010/04/a-daily-ten-point-confidence-checkup/

Yes You Deserve It – Five Tips To Strengthen Your Deservability Muscle
http://blog.davender.com/2008/11/yes-you-deserve-it-five-tips-to-strengthen-your-deservability-muscle/

Image credit: Adrian Kenyon (adriansalamandre) via Flickr
Direct link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/8957789@N07/1472097568/
Used under Creative Commons 2.0 licence
Link to the artist’s web site: http://adrian.kenyon.free.fr/

I was asked to review applications for a new seed capital acceleration program getting underway here in Quebec City. As I read the submissions, I started to realize something.

I can’t get excited about almost any of them. It’s sad to say, but it’s true.

Each submission proposed to solve some kind of problem for their target market, each had an interesting technology to develop.

But each submission was also too…businesslike. Why is this not necessarily a good thing?

Why should “passion” be part of a business? Passion is the energy that moves a project forward, and attracts clients who appreciate the value of what you offer and who are ready to buy.

If you look at businesses who are successful, especially those operating in very competitive environments, their success has a lot to do with the passion they generate: Apple, Southwest, Porter Airlines, Porsche… Their value goes beyond the atoms they build or the bits they create or the services they provide, they also elicit strong emotions. People love them or don’t – they are rarely indifferent. But these business create a loyalty among their clients and supporters, assuring a long-term success.

Passion is generated by the creative tension between what is and what you want to create. The bolder the vision, the stronger the tension and the greater energy you can unleash.

I believe that any business project needs just two basic ingredients: time and passion. Bring these two elements together and you can do anything. Money is a way of leveraging time, so you can accelerate your progress. But money is not essential to business success.

If you’re in business to make money or to do your job, that is not enough to succeed. Money without passion does not motivate, and will not get you through the challenges you need to overcome in order to succeed and prosper.

What people want more than money, is to contribute to something greater than themselves. Be it your employees, your suppliers, your investors or your customers, you will generate a lot more loyalty and support by building a cause instead of just a business. With a cause, everyone wins.

By “building a cause” I don’t mean simply giving to charity. It has to be bigger than that: by doing what you do, you are directly making the world better for your clients, for yourself and for all the stakeholders in your project.

Being too “businesslike” – cold, detached, clinical – removes the emotional element which gets people to sign on to what you offer.

People are not really interested in what you do. What people want to know, and what they can get behind, is what you can do for them. How can you change their world for the better?

Stop pitching your product and start promoting your passion. This is how you will attract the money, the clients, the talent and all the other resources you need to make your bold dream a reality.

For more information

Related post: “Got Mojo? The Spark That Makes Your Product Come Alive”
http://blog.davender.com/2009/08/podcast-got-mojo-the-spark-that-makes-your-product-come-alive/

The seed capital accelerator I am a member of is called V3-Ventures
http://V3-Ventures.com (French only)

Image credit: Rasmin via Flickr
Direct link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/rasmin/3484200308/
Used under Creative Commons 2.0 licence

Let’s face it – you have to be insane to leave the world of the employed and choose the path of starting your own business. The uncertainty of where your next paycheck will come from. The constant marketing and self-promotion. Always sporting a happy face at 7am or 5pm, even if you don’t want to be at that networking event. The paperwork, the financial risk, the lack of structure, support and security. How does one do it?

If there is one thing you can count on in these uncertain times is that you can count on nothing except yourself. I’m not saying to trust no one, what I mean is that we are living in a time of accelerating change. What you can count on is that the way things are now can change in an instant. I sensed this in my own life fifteen years ago when I stepped out of the career track and into self-employment, and I feel the pace of change accelerating exponentially from year to year. So how to move forward without losing your way?

Being self-employed means being able to let go of the orderliness of knowing what you are going to do today, this week, a month from now, five years from now. Because most likely something will pop up today that could have the ability to completely change your life: a new client, a new opportunity, or a new situation, bad or good, within your control or outside of it.

The responsible thing to do is to earn a living. There are far easier ways of doing so than being self-employed.

A couple of years ago I was attracted to an amazing woman who had a couple of university degrees and could speak at least four languages quite fluently. She had beauty and brains. (I love smart women!) But her problem is that she had a very difficult time finding a job, because she was frankly over-qualified for most of what is out there. When I met her, and as she got to know me, she decided to try the self-employed route and set herself up as a consultant in her field.

Unfortunately she did not get far, and I quickly realized why: she was looking for stability and certainty in a lifestyle where there is none.

As a solopreneur, we want to know that someone will buy what we offer, that all this effort and money and time that we devote to our business will transform itself into an income stream that provides some security. The insane part of this pipe dream is that we know that this is a fairy tale, that there is no security to be found in self-employment. Yet we persist as if it were true. Yes, that’s insane.

The only certainty you can cling to is the belief in your personal vision, your own purpose, your drive to change the world and shape it in your own image. Without this missionary zeal for what you do, you can’t move forward. You need to be an evangelist for your vision, to detach from reality and to create a Jobsian “Reality Distortion Field” where everything about what you do is incredible, awesome, great, cool, outstanding, world-changing, fantastic, amazing, beautiful, unbelievable…

Put two equally qualified service providers side by side, and I bet the one who succeeds is the one with that delightfully insane passion for what he does. A person I know loves his work and is good at it, but he has trouble getting and keeping clients. It’s not his competence, it’s that he doesn’t fully believe in himself as a solopreneur. Every few months he starts asking around for job openings. He may be the greatest at what he does, but would I entrust an important project to him if I doubt that he may not be there in a couple of months because he has found a job?

To be a solopreneur, you can’t keep a Plan B. You have to burn the boats and look only forward. Act as if success is inevitable and that it is your birthright. It’s insane, but it works.

The only thing certain in this life is death. Between now and then, shouldn’t you do everything you can to express your full potential to make a positive difference in the world?

For more information

Steve Jobs and his Reality Distortion Field:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nx7v815bYUw

A moving commencement speech by Steve Jobs at Stanford, 2005: “How to live before you die”
http://www.ted.com/talks/steve_jobs_how_to_live_before_you_die.html

Image Credit: Photo by Abby Chicken on Flickr. http://www.flickr.com/photos/redbettyblack/10241646/
Used under Creative Commons 2.0 licence

Why do so few people live up to their potential?

In his book “Linchpin”, Seth Godin posits that people who are remarkable are those who are totally dedicated to their “art”, exhibiting a willingness to plunge forward despite the fear and the risks, and deliver results that change the world around them.

In one of his blog posts, he asks the further question: How much support does someone need before they create remarkable results?

His observation:

“(…)Most mentors and coaches and teachers will tell you that few of their students ever do, not in comparison with their potential. A few break through and change everything, and we celebrate them, but what about everyone else?
The artists are different. They took a leap.
They weren’t pushed. They jumped.”

What is the difference between jumping and being pushed?

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this, and what comes to mind is the idea that maybe the difference between jumping and being pushed is about expectations. And specifically, expectations about “winning conditions” that guarantee success.

As I look at the opportunities before me, there is a part of me that wants to leap, but another part of me that is holding me back, waiting for the right conditions that can maximize a successful outcome:

- If only I had more money in the bank
- if only I had more time
- if only I had more help
- if only I had more support
- if only I had more accountability
- if only I had more recognition
- if only I had more energy
- if only I had more resources
- if only I had more knowledge
- if only I had more structure
- if only I had more encouragement…

…then I could feel better about making the leap.

Deep down I want assurance that everything will turn out okay before I take the risk. I also want insurance that will compensate me if the result doesn’t turn out as expected.

But this is a lie.“Winning conditions” will never show up by themselves. And if they do appear before I make my move, it’s too late.

This is the conundrum: If I wait for the winning conditions, they can’t happen, because winning conditions are only created once I make an irrevocable commitment. It is the energy of my commitment that creates the winning conditions.

And that’s why being pushed is not the same as jumping.

If I wait for someone to push me, the winning conditions can’t happen, because the commitment is not fully mine. So I need to fully commit to jumping now, in the absence of winning conditions, knitting my parachute as I plummet to the earth, hoping I can make it work before I become a stain on some farmer’s field.

This is the problem with the coaching, personal development and self-help industry. We want to provide winning conditions for the client to make the leap. But if we provide the client with the parachute, and push him out the door, the winning conditions can’t appear. The client has to make the decision to leap on his own. As I look back on the success stories with my clients, it is those who decided themselves to take that leap, who succeeded.

If success were guaranteed, there would be no reward, because success would be so ordinary. The reward of success comes by pushing through the fear and the odds to create remarkable results that express my full potential.

Pain, disappointment, stress and fatigue are guaranteed. I chuckle to myself as I think about this… if it’s guaranteed to hurt, why am I afraid of the pain? Wouldn’t it be better to focus on the reward and aim for that? To have the unshakable belief in success carry me through the pain…

In my own life, right now as I write these lines, there are several amazing opportunities that are opening up for me. These opportunities challenge me to take my game to a whole new level, but also trigger my lizard brain to shift into overdrive, causing me to hesitate when I should be going full throttle. Seth’s post reminds me that maybe I’m waiting to be pushed, instead of leaping of my own accord.

Thus the real question I must answer for myself: Am I waiting to be pushed, or will I jump towards my potential on my own?

For more information

Amazon.com link for Linchpin:
http://www.amazon.com/Linchpin-Are-Indispensable-Seth-Godin/dp/1591843162

A very good overview and interview on Mashable:
http://mashable.com/2010/02/14/seth-godin-linchpin/

Seth’s blog post that triggered this thought process:
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2010/05/mentoring-platforms-and-taking-a-leap.html

Related posts on this blog:

• This is Think Big Week!
  http://blog.davender.com/2009/04/this-is-think-big-week/
• Yes You Deserve It: Five Tips To Strengthen Your Deservability Muscle
  http://blog.davender.com/2008/11/yes-you-deserve-it-five-tips-to-strengthen-your-deservability-muscle/
• A Thought About Making Decisions
  http://blog.davender.com/2008/04/a-thought-about-making-decisions/

Image credit: Josephine Dorado via Flickr. Direct link to image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/funksoup/66512710
Permission via Creative Commons http://www.flickr.com/photos/funksoup/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Why is it so tempting to procrastinate when faced with an otherwise simple task? Even if you have the skills, knowledge, experience, resources and even a great motivation to accomplish the task, there is something that can sabotage your best intentions, and before you know it, there goes another blown promise or missed deadline…

The culprit lies within the deepest recesses of our brain, in a primitive organ – the amygdala. This “lizard brain” is the centre of our basic emotions: fear, anger and sexual desire.

If fear exists is because it the amygdala senses a threat to our survival. Since the beginning of evolution, our natural fear reflex helped us to either avoid or react to the often fatal dangers we faced.  But does this visceral reaction still serve us well in our modern environment?

Consider the to-do list of the solopreneur. Instead of sabre-toothed tigers, what do we avoid out of fear? Tax returns, sending invoices or making payments, calling a client, going to a networking event … Objectively, none of these situations is potentially lethal, but something triggers the lizard brain, flooding the conscious brain with its fear response.

Afraid of what, exactly? The lizard brain does not like the unknown. Taking risks is anathema to the amygdala, because it seeks security in the known, the comfortable, the familiar. So, whenever there is uncertainty, the lizard brain triggers the flight reaction.

For me, I notice that my lizard brain is in full control of me when all of a sudden I’m sleepy in the middle of the day. Another symptom is a tension in my legs, as if I had to flee quickly. And the third element of evidence for me is a sudden desire to eat, especially something sweet.

The fatigue, the desire to flee and sugar are avoidance behaviors that tell me that my “lizard brain” is dominating my thinking. I can be totally aware this is happening, but I’m powerless to do anything about about it, because I’ve let myself become a spectator to my primitive self…

But is it true that I’m powerless? What can I do to dominate the fear response and regain control, so I can overcome the block and create the results I want?

A simple approach is to ensure to reduce or avoid the unknown or the uncertainties. Remove the risk, and the lizard brain goes back to sleep. Here is a simple strategy to do it:

1. Take the time to create a blueprint to guide you through the task. This blueprint should break the big task into smaller pieces, doable in 15 to 30 minutes each. Reducing the size of the actions reduces the uncertainty, because it is easier to see to the other side of the task.  In addition, a detailed plan provides allows the emotional brain to “rehearse success” – quelling the fear response and giving room to the logical mind so it can take control, even briefly.

2. Do one small action at a time, according to a precise schedule. Each action should be scheduled in the calendar, and rigidly controlled in time: do not take more that 15 to 30 minutes for the mini-task. When the action is done, move on to something else that is not as “difficult” to do.

3. Celebrate progress. Whenever you have done the action step, give you a small reward – something you love. But make sure your rewards do not become a distraction!

For example, if the “impossible” task is writing a blog entry, my plan is:

a. do a brainstorming of topics and write them in a list, without prioritizing. No ideas what to write? Surf on over to your favorite blogs and write down the subjects of the last four or five posts without necessarily reading the whole text. Don’t worry, this is allowed and even encouraged, as long as you refer back to the post that inspires you.
b. choose two or three of these subjects and break each one down four or five points for each subject – whatever comes to mind. If nothing comes to mind, move to the next subject.
c. choose one of these expanded topics, and for each point, write two or three sub-points
d. you now have a good outline for your post. Link the sub-points together and it’s done!

Allocate 15 to 30 minutes for each action, and the space them out by one to two hours during the day – this is how I wrote this note starting in the morning from a blank screen.

Whatever task you’re trying to avoid out of fear, remember: it doesn’t need to be perfect – it just needs to be done.

And the more you get used to producing, the more comfortable it gets for your lizard brain. Your task moves from the unknown into your comfort zone.

Remember that your lizard brain thrives on fear. Learn to side-step it and you will become a better producer – and you will be better able to create the future you really want!

For more information

Inspired by a note from Seth Godin
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2010/01/quieting-the-lizard-brain.html

This idea appears to be part of Seth Godin’s new book “Linchpin: Are You Indispensible?” http://www.amazon.com/Linchpin-Are-Indispensable-Seth-Godin/dp/1591843162 (no affiliate)

Photo credit: Image by lostartist on Flickr . Use permitted by Creative Commons CC BY-ND 2.0

I follow over 231 blogs on leadership, business, marketing and personal development using Google Reader.  As I browse the stream of ideas, there are some that catch my eye for one reason or another, which I post to my “shared” list. This creates an interesting blog available to you at http://www.google.com/reader/shared/davenderg .

Here are some recent articles I recommend: 

Is Entrepreneurship A Management Science?
Eric Ries, The Conversation (Harvard Business Review)
permalink:  http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2010/01/is_entrepreneurship_a_manageme.html

Traditional concepts in management science tend to fail when applied to startups. A startup has to deal with conditions of extreme uncertaintly, which impedes the ability to do traditional planning. This article talks about shifting the attention at the startup phase from the outputs (measuring the results) to the inputs (measuring how the team is learning).

This Year, Say Yes By Saying No
Alexandra Samuel, The Conversation (Harvard Business Review)
permalink: http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2010/01/say_yes_to_saying_no.html

This is the time of year where we get bombarded with offers. Be clear about your intentions and goals, and make “no” your default answer.

You’re Not Small, You’re Just Human (And So Are The Gurus)
Ali Hale, Dumb Little Man
permalink: http://www.dumblittleman.com/2009/11/youre-not-small-youre-just-human-and-so.html

Even “gurus” have off days. Don’t beat yourself silly trying to achieve the illusion of perfection.

Best New Year’s Resolution? A Stop-Doing List
Jim Collins via Marcia Conner, LaughLearnLead
permalink: http://marciamarcia.tumblr.com/post/283672685/best-new-years-resolution-a-stop-doing-list

Are you productive, or just busy? Take the time to focus on only doing what counts most for you.

Goal Setting Accountability: Is It For Losers?
Naomi Dunford, IttyBiz
permalink: http://ittybiz.com/goal-setting-accountability

There’s a place for accountability, and there’s a place for privacy

Networking Reconsidered
John Hagel III and John Seely Brown, Harvard Business Review
permalink: http://blogs.hbr.org/bigshift/2010/01/networking-reconsidered.html

Applying the lessons learned from social networking to the traditional real-world networking environment.

For more information

Check out my Shared Items on my Google Reader page: http://www.google.com/reader/shared/davenderg

If you know of any interesting blogs or posts (especially if they’re yours!) please share them through the comments below.

Do you have a task that you’ve been procrastinating on, one that gets bigger every day even though you’re trying to ignore it? I usually have a couple of those on my list. These are tasks that I’m dreading for one reason or another: tediousness, refusal to face the truth, fear, shame…

The more I try to push these tasks to the future, the bigger they get, to the point that just resisting them is sapping my energy and blocking my ability to spot and respond to other opportunities.

So it’s time to do something about it.  

Mark Twain, that great philosopher-sage, said “If you eat a frog first thing in the morning, the rest of your day will be wonderful.”  This is the premise behind a delightful little book by Brian Tracy, called “Eat That Frog“. This book, which I highly recommend (even if you are not procrastinating on anything at the moment), provides a simple process to blast through procrastination: imagine the yukky task as an ugly frog that you must first eat before you can enjoy doing other things.

I’ve taken to call the tasks I’m procrastinating on my “Ugly Frogs” (UF).  UFs are things that only I can do (what’s left after the delegating and dumping), but I am loathe to get started on for any real or imagined reason. And it’s usually the latter. By identifying the UF, I can then go through a process to help me break it down into bite-sized pieces so that I swallow the whole darn thing…and therefore get it off my plate.

I’m currently implementing this idea in my weekly planning by asking myself the following questions:

1. What is an important task that I’m procrastinating on which is draining my energy and stopping me from moving forward? (This task must be on a critical path for my most important priority at the moment)

2. How can I break this task down into three to five sub-tasks that take between 30 minutes to no more than two hours each to complete? (An ugly frog is easier to swallow if I first cut it up into smaller pieces)

3. On what days this week will I accomplish each one of those tasks? (Schedule the day, and if possible, the time)

4. With whom shall I share this commitment to help me be accountable? (I find an accountability buddy to be invaluable in making sure I finish my plate)

Sometimes you might not get through the whole UF in one week, but can get far enough that there may be one or two sub-tasks left. If so, try to schedule them at the beginning of the following week so that the whole task is done, or if this is not possible, make sure you schedule them now so that you complete them as soon as possible.  Or maybe my UF is too big, like two frogs stuck together. Then the idea is to separate the tasks to make them more manageable. With practice you will learn what are reasonable task sizes and timelines for you, depending on your workload.

Even with this preparation, the actual eating of the Ugly Frog can still be distasteful, stressful, even nauseating.  I’ve had tasks that needed to be done that would take someone else maybe 20 minutes or so, but take me two hours because it feels like I’m moving through cold molasses. Hang in there, gut it out. You know that it will be over in at most two hours. This is where the accountability buddy is so valuable, for encouragement or simply someone to whine to…but make sure that your buddy won’t let you off the hook!

Brian Tracy explains more thoroughly this process of breaking through procrastination. Don’t delay, get it now, read it now and do it now.

Don’t stare too long at that Ugly Frog. Just pick up your knife and your fork and get at it, so you can move on to the dessert!

For more information

Read: “Eat That Frog” by Brian Tracy  Amazon.com link (no affiliate): http://www.amazon.com/Eat-That-Frog-Great-Procrastinating/dp/1576754227

Photo credit: Photo by wahoowins on Flickr. Used under Creative Commons licence CC BY-ND 2.0

If you say “yes”, is it a lifelong contract?

The situation you’re in when you said “yes” may change.  The commitment may not turn out to be what was promised. Things may not be happening as expected.

The key is to check your “happiness meter”.  Are you enjoying yourself in the commitment? You may be working hard, even struggling, but you still find meaning in the commitment, something worthwhile for you. Then by all means, stay committed. But if the commitment has lost its meaning, give yourself permission to rethink the situation.

Don’t be a martyr, doing something only from a sense of duty, or worse, coercion.  There has to be something in it for you, something that helps you experience what’s most important to you. If the commitment is not reciprocal, then it just empties you…this a problem both for you, and for others.

Because if you are not giving your best to the commitment, everyone loses.

It’s okay to change your mind, to say no.

Saying no takes clarity and courage. You will pay a price for breaking a commitment. Loss of trust, of income, of opportunities. Is the eventual upside for you, and for the other party, greater than the price? How you handle disengaging from the commitment is important. Take care of any unfinished business, and make sure to minimize the price of your decision to the other party.

If you’re not finding fulfillment in the commitment, the other party is orobably not, either. Maybe a “no” is the best thing for your both.

The bottom line in life is that things change, people change. Life goes on.

It’s okay to say “no”.

For more information

Commitment and trust are linked. See my article “Some Thoughts About Trust”
http://en.davender.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=41&Itemid=31