If there is one thing you can count on in these uncertain times is that you can count on nothing except yourself. I'm not saying to trust no one, what I mean is that we are living in a time of accelerating change. What you can count on is that the way things are now can change in an instant. I sensed this in my own life fifteen years ago when I stepped out of the career track and into self-employment, and I feel the pace of change accelerating exponentially from year to year. So how to move forward without losing your way?

Being self-employed means being able to let go of the orderliness of knowing what you are going to do today, this week, a month from now, five years from now. Because most likely something will pop up today that could have the ability to completely change your life: a new client, a new opportunity, or a new situation, bad or good, within your control or outside of it.

The responsible thing to do is to earn a living. There are far easier ways of doing so than being self-employed.

A couple of years ago I was attracted to an amazing woman who had a couple of university degrees and could speak at least four languages quite fluently. She had beauty and brains. (I love smart women!) But her problem is that she had a very difficult time finding a job, because she was frankly over-qualified for most of what is out there. When I met her, and as she got to know me, she decided to try the self-employed route and set herself up as a consultant in her field.

Unfortunately she did not get far, and I quickly realized why: she was looking for stability and certainty in a lifestyle where there is none.

As a solopreneur, we want to know that someone will buy what we offer, that all this effort and money and time that we devote to our business will transform itself into an income stream that provides some security. The insane part of this pipe dream is that we know that this is a fairy tale, that there is no security to be found in self-employment. Yet we persist as if it were true. Yes, that's insane.

The only certainty you can cling to is the belief in your personal vision, your own purpose, your drive to change the world and shape it in your own image. Without this missionary zeal for what you do, you can't move forward. You need to be an evangelist for your vision, to detach from reality and to create a Jobsian "Reality Distortion Field" where everything about what you do is incredible, awesome, great, cool, outstanding, world-changing, fantastic, amazing, beautiful, unbelievable…

Put two equally qualified service providers side by side, and I bet the one who succeeds is the one with that delightfully insane passion for what he does. A person I know loves his work and is good at it, but he has trouble getting and keeping clients. It's not his competence, it's that he doesn't fully believe in himself as a solopreneur. Every few months he starts asking around for job openings. He may be the greatest at what he does, but would I entrust an important project to him if I doubt that he may not be there in a couple of months because he has found a job?

To be a solopreneur, you can't keep a Plan B. You have to burn the boats and look only forward. Act as if success is inevitable and that it is your birthright. It's insane, but it works.

The only thing certain in this life is death. Between now and then, shouldn't you do everything you can to express your full potential to make a positive difference in the world?

For more information

Steve Jobs and his Reality Distortion Field:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nx7v815bYUw

A moving commencement speech by Steve Jobs at Stanford, 2005: "How to live before you die"
http://www.ted.com/talks/steve_jobs_how_to_live_before_you_die.html

Image Credit: Photo by Abby Chicken on Flickr. http://www.flickr.com/photos/redbettyblack/10241646/
Used under Creative Commons 2.0 licence

In his book “Linchpin”, Seth Godin posits that people who are remarkable are those who are totally dedicated to their “art”, exhibiting a willingness to plunge forward despite the fear and the risks, and deliver results that change the world around them.

In one of his blog posts, he asks the further question: How much support does someone need before they create remarkable results?

His observation:

“(…)Most mentors and coaches and teachers will tell you that few of their students ever do, not in comparison with their potential. A few break through and change everything, and we celebrate them, but what about everyone else?
The artists are different. They took a leap.
They weren't pushed. They jumped.”

What is the difference between jumping and being pushed?

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this, and what comes to mind is the idea that maybe the difference between jumping and being pushed is about expectations. And specifically, expectations about “winning conditions” that guarantee success.

As I look at the opportunities before me, there is a part of me that wants to leap, but another part of me that is holding me back, waiting for the right conditions that can maximize a successful outcome:

- If only I had more money in the bank
- if only I had more time
- if only I had more help
- if only I had more support
- if only I had more accountability
- if only I had more recognition
- if only I had more energy
- if only I had more resources
- if only I had more knowledge
- if only I had more structure
- if only I had more encouragement…

...then I could feel better about making the leap.

Deep down I want assurance that everything will turn out okay before I take the risk. I also want insurance that will compensate me if the result doesn’t turn out as expected.

But this is a lie.“Winning conditions” will never show up by themselves. And if they do appear before I make my move, it’s too late.

This is the conundrum: If I wait for the winning conditions, they can’t happen, because winning conditions are only created once I make an irrevocable commitment. It is the energy of my commitment that creates the winning conditions.

And that’s why being pushed is not the same as jumping.

If I wait for someone to push me, the winning conditions can’t happen, because the commitment is not fully mine. So I need to fully commit to jumping now, in the absence of winning conditions, knitting my parachute as I plummet to the earth, hoping I can make it work before I become a stain on some farmer’s field.

This is the problem with the coaching, personal development and self-help industry. We want to provide winning conditions for the client to make the leap. But if we provide the client with the parachute, and push him out the door, the winning conditions can’t appear. The client has to make the decision to leap on his own. As I look back on the success stories with my clients, it is those who decided themselves to take that leap, who succeeded.

If success were guaranteed, there would be no reward, because success would be so ordinary. The reward of success comes by pushing through the fear and the odds to create remarkable results that express my full potential.

Pain, disappointment, stress and fatigue are guaranteed. I chuckle to myself as I think about this… if it’s guaranteed to hurt, why am I afraid of the pain? Wouldn’t it be better to focus on the reward and aim for that? To have the unshakable belief in success carry me through the pain…

In my own life, right now as I write these lines, there are several amazing opportunities that are opening up for me. These opportunities challenge me to take my game to a whole new level, but also trigger my lizard brain to shift into overdrive, causing me to hesitate when I should be going full throttle. Seth’s post reminds me that maybe I’m waiting to be pushed, instead of leaping of my own accord.

Thus the real question I must answer for myself: Am I waiting to be pushed, or will I jump towards my potential on my own?

For more information

Amazon.com link for Linchpin:
http://www.amazon.com/Linchpin-Are-Indispensable-Seth-Godin/dp/1591843162

A very good overview and interview on Mashable:
http://mashable.com/2010/02/14/seth-godin-linchpin/

Seth’s blog post that triggered this thought process:
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2010/05/mentoring-platforms-and-taking-a-leap.html

Related posts on this blog:

• This is Think Big Week!
  http://blog.davender.com/2009/04/this-is-think-big-week/
• Yes You Deserve It: Five Tips To Strengthen Your Deservability Muscle
  http://blog.davender.com/2008/11/yes-you-deserve-it-five-tips-to-strengthen-your-deservability-muscle/
• A Thought About Making Decisions
  http://blog.davender.com/2008/04/a-thought-about-making-decisions/

Image credit: Josephine Dorado via Flickr. Direct link to image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/funksoup/66512710
Permission via Creative Commons http://www.flickr.com/photos/funksoup/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

The culprit lies within the deepest recesses of our brain, in a primitive organ - the amygdala. This "lizard brain" is the centre of our basic emotions: fear, anger and sexual desire.

If fear exists is because it the amygdala senses a threat to our survival. Since the beginning of evolution, our natural fear reflex helped us to either avoid or react to the often fatal dangers we faced.  But does this visceral reaction still serve us well in our modern environment?

Consider the to-do list of the solopreneur. Instead of sabre-toothed tigers, what do we avoid out of fear? Tax returns, sending invoices or making payments, calling a client, going to a networking event ... Objectively, none of these situations is potentially lethal, but something triggers the lizard brain, flooding the conscious brain with its fear response.

Afraid of what, exactly? The lizard brain does not like the unknown. Taking risks is anathema to the amygdala, because it seeks security in the known, the comfortable, the familiar. So, whenever there is uncertainty, the lizard brain triggers the flight reaction.

For me, I notice that my lizard brain is in full control of me when all of a sudden I'm sleepy in the middle of the day. Another symptom is a tension in my legs, as if I had to flee quickly. And the third element of evidence for me is a sudden desire to eat, especially something sweet.

The fatigue, the desire to flee and sugar are avoidance behaviors that tell me that my "lizard brain" is dominating my thinking. I can be totally aware this is happening, but I'm powerless to do anything about about it, because I've let myself become a spectator to my primitive self...

But is it true that I'm powerless? What can I do to dominate the fear response and regain control, so I can overcome the block and create the results I want?

A simple approach is to ensure to reduce or avoid the unknown or the uncertainties. Remove the risk, and the lizard brain goes back to sleep. Here is a simple strategy to do it:

1. Take the time to create a blueprint to guide you through the task. This blueprint should break the big task into smaller pieces, doable in 15 to 30 minutes each. Reducing the size of the actions reduces the uncertainty, because it is easier to see to the other side of the task.  In addition, a detailed plan provides allows the emotional brain to "rehearse success" - quelling the fear response and giving room to the logical mind so it can take control, even briefly.

2. Do one small action at a time, according to a precise schedule. Each action should be scheduled in the calendar, and rigidly controlled in time: do not take more that 15 to 30 minutes for the mini-task. When the action is done, move on to something else that is not as "difficult" to do.

3. Celebrate progress. Whenever you have done the action step, give you a small reward - something you love. But make sure your rewards do not become a distraction!

For example, if the "impossible" task is writing a blog entry, my plan is:

a. do a brainstorming of topics and write them in a list, without prioritizing. No ideas what to write? Surf on over to your favorite blogs and write down the subjects of the last four or five posts without necessarily reading the whole text. Don't worry, this is allowed and even encouraged, as long as you refer back to the post that inspires you.
b. choose two or three of these subjects and break each one down four or five points for each subject - whatever comes to mind. If nothing comes to mind, move to the next subject.
c. choose one of these expanded topics, and for each point, write two or three sub-points
d. you now have a good outline for your post. Link the sub-points together and it's done!

Allocate 15 to 30 minutes for each action, and the space them out by one to two hours during the day - this is how I wrote this note starting in the morning from a blank screen.

Whatever task you're trying to avoid out of fear, remember: it doesn't need to be perfect - it just needs to be done.

And the more you get used to producing, the more comfortable it gets for your lizard brain. Your task moves from the unknown into your comfort zone.

Remember that your lizard brain thrives on fear. Learn to side-step it and you will become a better producer - and you will be better able to create the future you really want!

For more information

Inspired by a note from Seth Godin
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2010/01/quieting-the-lizard-brain.html

This idea appears to be part of Seth Godin's new book "Linchpin: Are You Indispensible?" http://www.amazon.com/Linchpin-Are-Indispensable-Seth-Godin/dp/1591843162 (no affiliate)

Photo credit: Image by lostartist on Flickr . Use permitted by Creative Commons CC BY-ND 2.0

Here are some recent articles I recommend: 

Is Entrepreneurship A Management Science?
Eric Ries, The Conversation (Harvard Business Review)
permalink:  http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2010/01/is_entrepreneurship_a_manageme.html

Traditional concepts in management science tend to fail when applied to startups. A startup has to deal with conditions of extreme uncertaintly, which impedes the ability to do traditional planning. This article talks about shifting the attention at the startup phase from the outputs (measuring the results) to the inputs (measuring how the team is learning).

This Year, Say Yes By Saying No
Alexandra Samuel, The Conversation (Harvard Business Review)
permalink: http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2010/01/say_yes_to_saying_no.html

This is the time of year where we get bombarded with offers. Be clear about your intentions and goals, and make "no" your default answer.

You're Not Small, You're Just Human (And So Are The Gurus)
Ali Hale, Dumb Little Man
permalink: http://www.dumblittleman.com/2009/11/youre-not-small-youre-just-human-and-so.html

Even "gurus" have off days. Don't beat yourself silly trying to achieve the illusion of perfection.

Best New Year's Resolution? A Stop-Doing List
Jim Collins via Marcia Conner, LaughLearnLead
permalink: http://marciamarcia.tumblr.com/post/283672685/best-new-years-resolution-a-stop-doing-list

Are you productive, or just busy? Take the time to focus on only doing what counts most for you.

Goal Setting Accountability: Is It For Losers?
Naomi Dunford, IttyBiz
permalink: http://ittybiz.com/goal-setting-accountability

There's a place for accountability, and there's a place for privacy

Networking Reconsidered
John Hagel III and John Seely Brown, Harvard Business Review
permalink: http://blogs.hbr.org/bigshift/2010/01/networking-reconsidered.html

Applying the lessons learned from social networking to the traditional real-world networking environment.

For more information

Check out my Shared Items on my Google Reader page: http://www.google.com/reader/shared/davenderg

If you know of any interesting blogs or posts (especially if they're yours!) please share them through the comments below.

The more I try to push these tasks to the future, the bigger they get, to the point that just resisting them is sapping my energy and blocking my ability to spot and respond to other opportunities.

So it's time to do something about it.  

Mark Twain, that great philosopher-sage, said "If you eat a frog first thing in the morning, the rest of your day will be wonderful."  This is the premise behind a delightful little book by Brian Tracy, called "Eat That Frog". This book, which I highly recommend (even if you are not procrastinating on anything at the moment), provides a simple process to blast through procrastination: imagine the yukky task as an ugly frog that you must first eat before you can enjoy doing other things.

I've taken to call the tasks I'm procrastinating on my "Ugly Frogs" (UF).  UFs are things that only I can do (what's left after the delegating and dumping), but I am loathe to get started on for any real or imagined reason. And it's usually the latter. By identifying the UF, I can then go through a process to help me break it down into bite-sized pieces so that I swallow the whole darn thing...and therefore get it off my plate.

I'm currently implementing this idea in my weekly planning by asking myself the following questions:

1. What is an important task that I'm procrastinating on which is draining my energy and stopping me from moving forward? (This task must be on a critical path for my most important priority at the moment)

2. How can I break this task down into three to five sub-tasks that take between 30 minutes to no more than two hours each to complete? (An ugly frog is easier to swallow if I first cut it up into smaller pieces)

3. On what days this week will I accomplish each one of those tasks? (Schedule the day, and if possible, the time)

4. With whom shall I share this commitment to help me be accountable? (I find an accountability buddy to be invaluable in making sure I finish my plate)

Sometimes you might not get through the whole UF in one week, but can get far enough that there may be one or two sub-tasks left. If so, try to schedule them at the beginning of the following week so that the whole task is done, or if this is not possible, make sure you schedule them now so that you complete them as soon as possible.  Or maybe my UF is too big, like two frogs stuck together. Then the idea is to separate the tasks to make them more manageable. With practice you will learn what are reasonable task sizes and timelines for you, depending on your workload.

Even with this preparation, the actual eating of the Ugly Frog can still be distasteful, stressful, even nauseating.  I've had tasks that needed to be done that would take someone else maybe 20 minutes or so, but take me two hours because it feels like I'm moving through cold molasses. Hang in there, gut it out. You know that it will be over in at most two hours. This is where the accountability buddy is so valuable, for encouragement or simply someone to whine to...but make sure that your buddy won't let you off the hook!

Brian Tracy explains more thoroughly this process of breaking through procrastination. Don't delay, get it now, read it now and do it now.

Don't stare too long at that Ugly Frog. Just pick up your knife and your fork and get at it, so you can move on to the dessert!

For more information

Read: "Eat That Frog" by Brian Tracy  Amazon.com link (no affiliate): http://www.amazon.com/Eat-That-Frog-Great-Procrastinating/dp/1576754227

Photo credit: Photo by wahoowins on Flickr. Used under Creative Commons licence CC BY-ND 2.0

The situation you're in when you said "yes" may change.  The commitment may not turn out to be what was promised. Things may not be happening as expected.

The key is to check your "happiness meter".  Are you enjoying yourself in the commitment? You may be working hard, even struggling, but you still find meaning in the commitment, something worthwhile for you. Then by all means, stay committed. But if the commitment has lost its meaning, give yourself permission to rethink the situation.

Don't be a martyr, doing something only from a sense of duty, or worse, coercion.  There has to be something in it for you, something that helps you experience what's most important to you. If the commitment is not reciprocal, then it just empties you...this a problem both for you, and for others.

Because if you are not giving your best to the commitment, everyone loses.

It's okay to change your mind, to say no.

Saying no takes clarity and courage. You will pay a price for breaking a commitment. Loss of trust, of income, of opportunities. Is the eventual upside for you, and for the other party, greater than the price? How you handle disengaging from the commitment is important. Take care of any unfinished business, and make sure to minimize the price of your decision to the other party.

If you're not finding fulfillment in the commitment, the other party is orobably not, either. Maybe a "no" is the best thing for your both.

The bottom line in life is that things change, people change. Life goes on.

It's okay to say "no".

For more information

Commitment and trust are linked. See my article "Some Thoughts About Trust"
http://en.davender.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=41&Itemid=31